领悟

hear a song today “ 路要自己走”

the lyric inside inspire me something....

“我会牵着你的手，但是路要自己走”，

this let me understand that everyone have our own path to go on,

parents, friends, siblings even though partner just only can guide and accompany us,

they cant decide which path we should go or which decision we should make,

this is because that is our own path, they cant decide for us....

all they can do is giving advise and guiding for us....

the last decision is on our own hand...

this is what i understand and realize from this song....

i had been listening to this song so many time,

but now only i realize the underlying meaning....

i know what u have done to me all this time,

i understand that d...

all u want me to do is grow up by myself,

because all u can do is just accompany me and guiding me....

u cant make decision for me, u want me to learn to be independent...

i understand ur 苦心。。。

thank you, my dear.... 

sorry for all this time geh 霸道，无理取闹。。。

i think i should learn it....

love~~~ 

原来我还是学不会。。。

原来我还是学不会顾虑别人的感受。。。

原来我还是那么的自以为是，那么的自私。。。

原来我还是那么的处处以自我为中心。。。

可不可以就学会顾虑别人的感受？？？

可不可以不要那么自以为是，那么自私？？？

可不可以不要处处以自我为中心？？？

其实我不想要伤害，可是到最后，我还是伤害了。。。

伤害了，才来道歉，已经太迟了。。。

我是读心理学的，我是读辅导的，

难道我就不能改变一下自己吗？？？

难道就那么难apply给我自己吗？？？

一直以为自己很多优点，事实是缺点一大箩，

我的缺点：固执，不顾虑别人的感受，讲话没经过脑筋，自我感受为中心，

伤害了别人后知后觉（最糟糕），爱撒娇，爱闹，把白的说成黑的。。。还有很多很多隐藏的缺点，连我自己都不知道的。

这些缺点我都只对熟悉的人做，很坏对吧？？

对不起，我的爱人，我又再次伤害了你。。。

真的不喜欢说话不经过脑筋的自己，

因为每次都伤害了你的心，

我知道这让你很难受。。。

对不起，我会学习不再从感受出发，我会学会从脑筋出发。。。

a story of my friend and a feeling of mine

yesterday, while i was cooking dinner for dear and me,

she suddenly called me and said want to come my house...

at first, im shocked by her

but after awhile, she reached my house by cycling herself...

then im guessing, there must be something wrong with her and her bf

because she said she want to overnight at my house, but my house was do not allow ppl to overnight,

so i tried to find elaine to ask whether i can go her house for a night,

thank you for elaine that lent me her room for me and her....

thank you for dear giving us time to be together.... but in my heart i miss dear dear so much...

sorry dear that i cause u cant watch movie with ur friends,

but i hope that i can know ur friends as well.... :)

back to the story,

while chatting with her,

she din even tell me anything until i started to self- disclosure,

then only she told me what was happening between she and her bf....

she and her bf started to be a couple since secondary school,

their relationship already lasted for 4 years,

now the guy wanted to break up with her,

just because he is already tired with their relationship.

but actually there is a third party involving inside,

the guy msg my friend and told her that he wont come back home until wednesday,

this msg was his friend ask him to do so...

when she was telling me the story, she started crying non-stop but i din stop her....

after she cry finish, she calmed down, and we started discuss about her relationship and my relationship,

this make me realize that we are 2 extreme person...

she is extreme impulse, im am extreme tolerance,

there are many things that i din say it out in my heart,

and she tell me that i have to say it out,

if not, i will be ended up like her situation.

i duwan to be like her....

her bf start changes after he met a gang of new friends,

and these friends always call him out for trips and play,

in my heart, i am thinking is it the influence of friends so big???

can this changes dont come to me???

i really dont know wat will i do....

when i see her cry, my heart so pain....

but all i can do is just listening to her,

im not dare to give any suggestions and comments...

im scare...

today, when i am in the bathe room preparing to go for breakfast,

she is calling her bf to come back,

her bf is overnight at the girl's house which is far from kampar,

my friend almost become crazy when she hear that from him....

she is begging him to come to kampar by today,

but the guy duwan to come back at all....

(guy, do u know there are many things that girl can tolerance with, but not overnight at other girl's house, dont even try to do this at all, you will hurt the girl that you love so badly and seriously...)

he still hold on to come back on wednesday....

(sometimes, i really dont know wat guy is thinking about....)

this morning he say that he duwan this relationship, he feels tired with this relationship, he wants to break up

my friend is crying like hell.... im so shock and sakit hati to see her crying like that....

at that moment, i really dunno wat can i do....

im just hugging her and let her cry until she wanna to stop...

she keeps telling me that she's lost, she dunno wat to do,

wat i can do, is just accompany her and try to help her come out some solutions,

but i dunno whether it is helpful or not.....

after that, im sending her back eastlake and cycling back myself home...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on the way back, it let me think about my own self relationship...

im so scare that this kind of thing will happen to me too...

there is a girl that i dont like beside you,

im trying to accept her as your sis as your friend,

but the feeling is still there,

i have already try to do my best,

but im so sorry that i really cant do that anymore

there are so many question in my mind...

why is it she duwan to accept me in her facebook???

why when we are outing together for dinner, you 2 are like strangers???

why when you met in school, you din say hi to each other???

why i cannot go with you when you are going out with her???

why she can cut ur finger nails i cannot???

(do you know that these questions bothering me quiet a long time...)

sometimes is not im not trusting you, im just not trusting her...

maybe for you she is just a sister that you never have, but when you are in a relationship,

there is no any other can live together....unless the two person....

maybe this is the freedom that i cannot give....

i just hope that i can know ur friends, n this can let me feel secure and reassure me....

every time, when you are going out with her only,

my mind will start thinking...

i just cant control myself....

every time, when you are not by my side,

my mind will start thinking " are you being with her?"

im know it may not fair for you, but im just cant control my mind to think about it,

it is automatically start thinking....

still remember i told you that when i lost trust on a person,

it will be very hard to gain the trust again??

im thinking about it....

but i duwan our relationship to end up like my friend...

the moral of their story is say out the things that you are not feeling well or comfortable with....

so im make this decision to say it out here.... im hope that you can read it....

i know that you are doing something changes for me,

im also trying to do my best for you,

to give you enough freedom,

but sometime im thinking is it the freedom im giving is too free???

i dunno wat kind of freedom do you want???

do you know that im so scare to lose you....

do you know that im trying my best to let myself to stop thinking about all those things...

maybe you will say that im running away when i encounter with problem,

maybe im not the perfect one in your eyes,

do you know that im care everything and comment u give me,

but i just need more time to do it....

me and you are different, you know that,

im know that you are disappointed on me that i din change my attitude,

i know that.... n maybe my changes is not enough for you....

im just a person like this,

whenever i encounter any problem, i will run away,

and after that only i start thinking wat should i do

im really need ur help to clarify to me the problem that i facing,

although the time you telling me, im not really pay attention,

but i do listen,

im not like you, can solve the problem very fast and right...

im need a guideline from your for me to solve the problem that i facing.....

maybe  after you read my blog, you may have something to say,

please just say it out, and im also learning to say it out

cos i duwan our relationship end up like my friend....

i love you dear, i do....

interaction day...

yesterday was our badge (Y1S3)'s interaction day...
we have a nice, happy and fun day during the whole process....
i like this interaction day so much...
i hope we will organize more this kind of activities....

i like the games we are playing, i like the drama u guys performance, i like the performances that u guys performance, i like the most is the karaoke part.... we are totally very high and throw away our stress during that part.... i like it so much!!! yu hoo!!!  XD

here comes some photo that we take before the activities begin....

estee doing wat yea???

honey n me :)

dear dear n me :)

i like this sun.... XD

a little quarrel between us

today, we have a little quarrel

this is because u slept at 6am and i call u up at 9:40am something,

u did pick up my call but i just know that u will sleep back so i call u after i finish call...

i call u for 6 times, it is already many times for me when i call a person...

for u maybe have to more than 20 and above only count as many, but for me it is not.

when i know that u are going to yam cha with ur friends, i already can guest that u will be go home late,

but i do not think that it is 6am in the morning.

n the day before i already told u that u have the personality test at 11am, and also a movie review for cmt

so if u should manage ur time...

im sorry that i did say something wrong when i argue with u,

i shouldn't blame on u that because of u, my phone money gone,

because u r more important than that...

when i call, i will wait the call until last, i hope that u will pick up once on it,

that's why when u said that u have taught me when ring 5 times cant close it,

but i just hope to hear ur voice at the end of the ringing...

that's why i keep waiting on the call....

u dont like me to hang out until so late, so do i...

because we will get sick after all this lack of sleeping....

i hope that u understand it....

i dont mean to argue with u, i also dont mean to blame u...

the time when i keep quiet n stop argue with u,

actually i hope that u will talk to me 1st,

but at last u din even talk to me,

u just keep on sms,

it makes me feel so bad....

we go for our dinner after meeting,

but u din talk to me,

we just sit down there,

order our food, eat our food, and go for next drama rehearsal....

along the way, u just keep quiet n sms,

im looking at u at the back, im feel so hurt.... :(

at last, i have to thank xiao kee,

because of her msg,  i ask u wat r we going to do next....

then tat time u just answer me "ermm..."

then silent again....

until we go to the park there for rehearsal u only start to talk to me....

but after that, i feel better, just because u r not silence anymore to me...

do u know that, im a person that need to communicate,

please next time, even after we argue, can u just dont keep quiet for so long...

the longer the time u take, the more negative thing inside my mind....

im a person who cant stand for silence... this make me feel that im so not important for u....

i din even existence for u in ur world anymore.... it's totally hurt me so bad....

all of above, is my feeling for the event, i just hope that we can have more communication...

im sorry dear, if the things i say above hurt u,

i love u dear, i really do.... muackss....

:)

原来很简单 *^

有個小弟在腳踏車店當學徒，有人送來一部故障的腳踏車， 
小弟除了將車修好，還把車子整理的漂亮如新， 
其他學徒笑他多此一舉，後來雇主將腳踏車領回去， 
第二天，小弟被挖角到那位雇主的公司上班。 

原來出人頭地很簡單，吃點虧就可以了。 

有個小孩對母親說：「媽媽你今天好漂亮。」 
母親回答：「為什麼。」 
小孩說「因為媽媽今天都沒有生氣。」 

原來要擁有漂亮很簡單，只要不生氣就可以了。 


有個牧場主人，叫他孩子每天在牧場上辛勤的工作， 
朋友對他說：「你不需要讓孩子如此辛苦，農作物一樣會長得很好的。」 
牧場主人回答說：「我不是在培養農作物，我是在培養我的孩子。」 

原來教育孩子很簡單，讓他吃點苦頭就可以了。 


有一個網球教練對學生說：「如果一個網球掉進草堆，應該如何找？」 
有人答：「從草堆中心線開始找。」 
有人答：「從草堆的最凹處開始找。」 
有人答：「從草最長的地方開始找。」 
教練宣布正確答案：「按部就班的從草地的一頭，搜尋到草地的另一頭。」 

原來尋找成功的方法很簡單,從一數到十不要跳過就可以了。 


有一家商店經常燈火通明， 
有人問：「你們店裡到底是用什麼牌子的燈管？那麼耐用。」 
店家回答說：「我們的燈管也常常壞，祇是我們壞了就換而已。」 

原來維護保持的方法很簡單，只要勤勞就可以了。 


住在田邊的青蛙對住在路邊的青蛙說：「你這裡太危險，搬來跟我住吧！」 
路邊的青蛙說：「我已經習慣了，懶得搬了。」 
幾天後，田邊的青蛙去探望路邊的青蛙，卻發現他已被車子壓死，暴屍在馬路上。 

原來掌握命運方向的方法很簡單，遠離懶惰就可以了。 


有一隻小雞破殼而出的時候， 
剛好有隻烏龜經過，從此以後小雞就背著蛋殼過一生。 

原來脫離沉重的負荷很簡單，放棄固執成見就可以了。 

有幾個小孩很想當天使，神給他們一人一個燭臺，叫他們要保持光亮， 
結果一天兩天過去了，神都沒來，所有小孩已不在擦拭那燭臺， 
有一天　神突然造訪，每個人的燭臺都蒙上厚厚的灰塵， 
只有一個小孩大家都叫他笨小孩， 
因為　神沒來，他也每天都擦拭，結果這個笨小孩成了天使。 

原來當天使很簡單，只要實實在在去做就可以了。 

有隻小豬，向神請求做祂的門徒， 
神欣然答應，剛好有一頭小牛由泥沼裡爬出來，渾身都是泥濘， 
神對小豬說：「去幫他洗洗身子吧！」 
小豬訝異的答道：「我是神的門徒，怎麼能去侍候那髒兮兮的小牛呢！」 
神說：「你不去侍候別人，別人怎會知道，你是我的門徒呢！」 

原來待人接物很簡單，只要真心付出就可以了。 

有一支掏金隊伍在沙漠中行走，大家都步伐沉重，痛苦不堪， 
只有一人快樂的走著，別人問：「你為何如此愜意？」 
他笑著：「因為我帶的東西最少。」 

原來快樂很簡單，需求少一點，懂得知足就可以了。 


在这个世上，很多事情其实都很简单的，所谓有舍才有得啊。

I dO ,BAbe

Lyrics:
its always been about
me myself and i
thought relationships were nothing but a waste of time
i never wanted to be anybodys other half
i was happy saying i'd a love that wouldnt last
that was the only way i knew till i met you

you make wana say i do,i do, i do, i do
yeah i do, i do, i do

cos everytime before its been like
maybe yes and maybe no
i cantlive without it, i cant let it go
oh what did i get myself into
you make me wana say i do
i do, i do, i do, i do

tell me, is it only me, do you feel the same
you know me well enough to know that im not playin games
i promise i wont turn around i wont let you down
you can trust i've never felt it like i feel it now
baby theres nothing theres nothing we cant get through

so can we say i do,i do, i do, i do
oh baby i do, i do, i do

cos everytime before its been like
maybe yes and maybe no
i wont live without it, i wont let it go
oh what did i can myself into

you make me wana say
meet my family, hows your family
oh can we be a family
and well maybe when we're old im still next to you
and you'll remember when we said

i do,i do, i do, i do
yeah i do, i do, i do

cos everytime before its been like
maybe yes and maybe no
i wont live without it, i wont let this go
just look at what we get ourselves into

you make me wana say i do, i do, i do... love you

~ * HeaR mE crY * ~

lyrics:
You couldn't say
Needed someone new
You actually thought
Deep inside I knew

Can you tell me how can you say
Why this should suffice
You passed me by
And your heart's as cold as ice
(You passed me by)

Did you see me cry
(Did you ask yourself why)
Did you see me cry
(Did you ask yourself how)
Can you hear me cry
(Did you ask yourself)
Will we ever grow apart

You couldn't say
Needed someone new
And you actually thought
Deep inside I knew

I wonder where we will go
Will we be the same
(You passed me by)
I laugh inside I think of you
And the love we made
(You passed me by)

Tell me why this should suffice
I hold you through the night
Now will I let it go
Soon I'll let it go

Can you hear me cry
(Will you ask yourself why)
Can you hear me cry
(Will you ask yourself how)
Can you hear me cry
(Will you ask yourself)
Will we ever grow apart

You, I'll stand by your side
I'll be there for you
(You passed me by)
You, I'll stand by your side
Please just do me right
(You passed me by)

You, I'll stand by your side
I'll be there for you

~ * Breathless* ~

Shayne Ward-Breathless(lyrics)

If our love was a fairy tale
I would charge in and rescue you
On a yacht baby we would sail
To an island where we'd say I do

And if we had babies they would look like you
It'd be so beautiful if that came true
You don't even know how very special you are
[Chorus]

You leave me breathless
You're everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can't believe that you're mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you're leaving me
Breathless

And if our love was a story book
We would meet on the very first page
The last chapter would be about
How I'm thankful for the life we've made

And if we had babies they would have your eyes
I would fall deeper watching you give life
You don't even know how very special you are

[Chorus]

You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me
You're like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me
You're something special
I only hope that I'll one day deserve what you've given me
But all I can do is try
Every day of my life

[Chorus]

《情人知己》